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This is a transcript from episode #32 of the Let the Verse Flow Podcast.
As summer comes knocking on our door here in NYC tomorrow, let us give thanks to spring. Let us reflect on the beauty it has shown us, transforming cold and snowy nights into lush and ethereal mornings. All that rain in March had us cursing under our breath, but now theyāve given way to the riches of summer, and we are quiet and wistful and full of sunshine. Whether summer is your season now or not, there is always time to contemplate rebirth, rejuvenation, and the cycle of life that nature reminds us to take heed of. Todayās episode is all about celebrating the refreshing potential of a new season.
Reluctant Spring Cleaning
For years Iāve heard other people talk about spring cleaning. Honestly, it seemed odd to me that they were so interested in cleaning the house, refreshing the linens, and organizing the closets. As a member of the Clutter League, card-carrying now for many years, Iād rather go for a walk than clean the cabinets. Iām not that interested in cans of beans, dust in corners, and windows that squeak. And my apartment tells that story. But in this particular spring, I experimented with the spring cleaning idea and devoted a week to cleaning the house. Mind you, my apartment needs more than one week of cleaning to look like those Instagram-ready rooms we see on the pages of āclutterbegoneā influencers, but I gave it my best shot. The real task was part two of the organization of my momās things that I began two years ago, as I moved her belongings out of her apartment. There were things that I couldnāt give away to Goodwill, personal things, things that held memories, and so I tucked them away in the corner of my dining room. Unsightly boxes and bags and even small figurines were piled up in a corner that I could ignore, and ignore I did.
Grief Gives Way to Calm Acceptance (at least for now)
Anyone dealing with grief will know that thereās sadness in things, and that sadness is never really far away. It lives beneath the surface of the day and peeks or bubbles up from time to time. It was so hard to look in those boxes because they held things that were very dear to my mom, things that she valued before she got sick. But I was finally ready to get in there and sift through it all and make decisions. What I would keep, what I would donate, what I would throw away. And I did that, and slowly the space dissolved back into a dining roomās corner, and something strange happened. The space that now existed where those boxes had once been was like a breath of fresh air. Everything around me felt lighter. My shoulder relaxed, I breathed more deeply, and with presence, my eyes took in the tranquil space and it made the corners of my mouth go up into a deep smile.
I was ready, you see, to give up some of my momās things and to make peace with the sadness that visited me every time I touched them. Now all organized and settled, I feel like Iāve journeyed to a new place, and the reward, the resting place of that journey, is more spaciousness around my apartment. That, and the pleasures of spring in New York City have left me feeling refreshed and ready for summer.
So while Iām not going to praise my new cleaning system or get into some love affair with the new mop I bought, I did get into spring cleaning. More importantly, I journeyed through another nuanced phase of grief and touched my motherās things without falling apart. Throughout this time whatās held me together are sweet memories, the certainty that Iām loved, and the beauty of the unfolding spring and summer that lay before me.
Spring in Central Park (Forsythia & Cherry Blossom Trees)
I have two favorite springtime flowers ā forsythia which comes out in full force around the edges of Central Park as early as March (they are my momās favorite) and Cherry Blossom trees. Between their softly sweet scent and the blossoms that float down and rest upon us, thereās nothing more reviving than a Cherry Blossom tree. I canāt be grumpy or grim when Iām around these trees, and they are all around NYC. Whenever I stand under one and watch as the wind blows the petals onto my jacket and hair, I feel as young as a five-year-old on a gleeful Easter morning. Each petal reminds me of the beauty of life itself; each petal revives me and sends weariness packing; each petal suggests weightlessness, a welcome reprieve after a cold winter. Each petal is a gift. This poem is about the charity of Cherry Blossoms. Itās called They Came to Me.
They Came to Me
By Jill Hodge
All I wanted was to look up into the vast blue sky
and watch the cherry blossom petals fly.
But my neck was restricted, my balance not right.
I thought it was over, as pain took over delight.
But it was just beginning, as soft cherry blossom petals fell on my jacket.
They came to me as if to say, āDonāt twist your little neck in our direction.
Donāt strain and wrinkle your face. Itās spring, donāt you know?
We are too happy dancing and you should be too.
For we have gifted you four thousand petals.ā
Blowing in the wind, landing on your clothes, perfuming the air.
āItās spring, donāt you know? We can be kind and come to you.ā
Closely related to spring cleaning is the notion of minimalism. A pack rat like me has no business promoting minimalism, so Iāll leave that to the experts. You can Google minimalism and find no end to the tips and tricks that will have you emptying your home to its bones. But I love nuance, so I have found some pro-minimalist tactics that I can co-sign. Here are two ideas from the minimalism trend.
Minimalism Trends: Cleaning Small Corners & Making Room for Simple Pleasures
The first is simply paring down the stuff in your house. Perhaps devoting some time to a small corner as I did in my dining room and asking yourself these questions: What can I get rid of here? What can I release and still be as happy, if not happier as I am right now? If you love it, keep it, but if you donāt, give it away to someone who will, or trash it if itās junk. It turned out that it was equally satisfying for me to give good things to Goodwill as it was for me to trash broken junk that Iād kept for too long. All this cleaning may have you scratching your head and wondering as I did, Why did I wait so long to do this? How could I have let it get this bad? But those questions donāt need to be answered. Please donāt add any shameful undertones to your cleaning. People with clean houses arenāt any better or worse than you, they just have different priorities or different demands on their time.
Family Caregivers: Toss the Self-Judgment While Cleaning
As a family caregiver, I donāt have endless hours to clean the house, and when I do devote time to cleaning, I donāt want to spend that time bad-mouthing myself for letting things go. Iāve said it a million times, and Iāll say a million times more. Shame over crap like this, and self-judgment are a f**king waste of time. Donāt do that to yourself. You deserve better. But if paring down things sounds like a good idea, I must say that the space it leaves behind is refreshing. I know it sounds dramatic, but itās like giving your soul some space to move and explore. Itās expanding.
If you are grieving like I am and have a loved one belongings to go through, you may have to work in phases. I wasnāt ready to go through those piles of my momās things until I was ready, and there was no time clock on that readiness. The strength and energy it takes to go through their things can be vast, especially when you spend most of your day caregiving. Do some inner listening about when itās the right time to pare down things, and then try it out. I tried going through my momās stuff about 8 months ago, but I couldnāt do it without crying. That was too soon; turns out this spring was just right.
The other way to bring some springtime-inspired minimalism into your life is by making room for simple pleasures. During my spring cleaning, I cleared off my balcony to create a summertime chill zone out there. I have these folding rocking chairs and if I position them just right, I can see a nice chunk of Central Park from my balcony. The rest of my view is other buildings, so I angle my chair carefully. So as not to clutter the balcony ā and continue to enjoy the spaciousness I felt while clearing things away inside the apartment ā I only have the rocking chairs and a small bench with a few plants on it out there. All I need is the rocking chair, and the feeling of space instantly relaxes me. And I rock out and watch the green tree tops bob up and down. I usually bring a book and a cup of iced coffee, and I often think how grateful I am that this little slice of heaven is enough for me. I donāt need a pool or a hammock or a grill (although those things are nice), I can be satisfied with what I have. I can be calm and gentle with myself while in the rocker. I can take care of myself. Thatās the epitome of a summertime refresh.
Journal Prompts for a Summertime Refreshš
Summertime is the perfect time to ease into journal writing, using just 5 moments of relaxation to let your words flow. So get out your journal and write in response to these prompts as you start the journey of your summertime refresh:
I love mushrooms, cherry blossoms, loud birds, and shades of green. They signal the start of my summertime renewal. What things come to mind for you as you ready your summertime space for self-care? Give it some thought. As always, Iām hoping your summertime refresh has you humming and jiving to the bright side of the beat.š
Podcast Music: My thanks to all the musicians who make incredible music and have the courage to put it out into the world. All music for my podcast is sourced and licensed for use via Soundstripe.
Songs in this podcast episode: Bird Song (Robin) recorded by Jill Hodge; Early Bird by Brian Brown; Hidden Forest by Outside the Sky; Majestic Skies by Strength To Last; Slide by GEMM; Club Banga by Ghost Beatz; Pyaar Kee Seemaen by Cast of Characters
Related Episode:
The Nature Connection: Finding Peace and Perspective (episode 28)
Mindful Living Through Meditation (episode 26)
Grief & Gratitude (It's Bittersweet) (episode 15)
The Healing Power of Time (and Sense) (episode 8)
LTVF Season Two Music Playlist: Check out the songs that inspire me, and connect with artists from many genres who add to our collective, human soundtrack.
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