Stripping Down to Essentials: Exploring Minimalism in Midlife

🎧 Episode #53 (Stripping Down to Essentials: Exploring Minimalism in Midlife)

🤔The older I get, the less stuff I seem to need. I’m curious, can anyone relate?

For most of my life, I was firmly rooted in the knick-knack, bric-a-brac camp (isn’t bric-a-brac such a great phrase?). I love thrift stores; I can’t resist going in and sifting through other people’s cast-offs, hoping to find gems. I’ve found beautiful mosaic jars (for putting more knick-knacks into), and an art deco period blue glass side table that no one seems to like but me. But, I don’t care.

As you probably guessed, I keep things for sentimental reasons. Because my daughter made that for me when she was 7, or my mom always wore that necklace she bought in Greenwich Village when she was in her 20s and never grew tired of it. Now, when I wear it, it reminds me of her.

It’s not the item I can’t live without, it’s the story that the item tells that holds me in its grip. But not anymore. I’m stripping down to essentials and sharing what I'm learning. In this episode, I explore:

Saying Goodbye to Stuff

• Saying goodbye to my mom's things in stages, and along my grief journey.
• How getting older frees you to live with less (and feel complete without all the stuff you once thought you needed).
• How to hold on to memories and the stories behind objects without having to keep everything.

🎨Holding Onto Memories While Letting Go of Things

This spring, I’m sifting through the now much smaller stack of my mom's things and giving more of them away. I’ll keep some cherished items, of course, but I don’t need to keep others. The memories these objects held are within me. I’ve internalized them and rarely need to see or touch them to feel close to my mom. I’ve also accepted that holding on to her things doesn’t help me journey through my grief.

My mom would not want me pining away over her things, especially if the clutter was making me stressed. It’s time to let some of them go and remind myself that the story that’s attached to those items is the story of my childhood, my loving relationship with my mom, and her legacy. It lives on in me, as this podcast and my writing attest. The objects have served their usefulness, and now I feel ready to release them (and to some extent to release myself). It’s a work in progress, but one that I’m embracing.

So when decluttering, I try to remember that the important thing isn’t the item but the memories behind the item, and I can hold on dearly to those memories for as long as my heart beats and my mind can think. I can claim those memories, but let go of objects. My mom is woven into every part of me, literally and figuratively. I don’t need a silver dish to know or experience that.

Claimed Memories

By Jill Hodge

Who would have known that every experience would be wrapped up in objects?
Objects associated with movement, sights, smells, memories.
Memories cataloged and evoked by the object held in my hands.
Hands that just want to embrace you.

Who would have known that objects could stack up so quickly?
Quickly the decades passed, ticked up and counted.
Counted in large numbers like the hundreds of times we’ve smiled.
Smiled because we knew that we belonged to each other.
Others didn’t always understand, but our homes told a story.
Stories that were about what we knew together.

Who would have known that I’d have trouble separating?
Separating the things you loved from my love for you.
You and your spirit so vastly imbued by the things you loved.
Love that I tried to hold onto by grasping your things.
Things that no longer belong to you.

Who would have known that these things would live on in my heart?
Heart beating with the certain knowledge of your love.
Love that you gave so freely as you bought this little girl more things.
Things that I say goodbye to now.
Now that I know that you no longer live in things.
Things don’t matter, it was only you and memories of us.
Us, memories of us, now mine to claim.

💭Key Takeaways from this Episode:

• One of the perks of getting older can be the realization that you don't need more things. Shared experiences with others and time connecting to yourself are far more important than objects.
• When the world feels more complex or chaotic, you can create a safe, open space that's nurturing and protective.
• Decluttering your space can open you up to exploring new passions, ideas, and hobbies as you strip down your external world of unused stuff and focus on turning inward.
• Objects evoke shared memories, but you can still hold onto those memories (in your heart and mind) without holding onto the objects.

Journal Prompts for Considering Minimalism in Midlife

Here are some journal prompts for exploring minimalism in your life. Write or reflect on these questions:

Why not join me and explore the freedom of minimalism in midlife? I've noticed that one of the benefits of this practice is how I'm internalizing what’s most important to me and separating myself from what isn’t. I don’t feel the desperate need to get more, but I still feel the delightful pull of wanting to be more. More stuff won’t get me there; I must follow the growing sense of mental clarity that comes from decluttering. I’m confident that in those new open spaces, there is enough peace for me to hear the bright side of the beat.🌞

Podcast Music: My thanks to all the musicians who make incredible music and have the courage to put it out into the world. All music and sound effects for my podcast are sourced and licensed for use via Soundstripe.

Songs in this podcast episode: Tea Time by Falls; Slide by GEMM; In The Clouds by Falls; Pyaar Kee Seemaen by Cast of Characters

Related Episodes:

The Loved Ones We Carry (episode #6)

Dealing with Dementia (Caregiver Tips & Journal Prompts) (episode #13)

Resources:

5 Reasons Why You Should Consider Becoming a Minimalist

Me-Time Mixtape: Minimalism for Mental Health

New Resource!

On the podcast, I often explore tools and strategies to reduce overthinking. Now, I've created a fun, art-lovers practice guide to stop overthinking, worry, and rumination. Click below to read it now.

The Art-lovers Creative Practice Guide to Stop Overthinking, Worry, and Rumination

This is my creative take on the process (and practice) of releasing the grip of overthinking using four modalities -- body connection, art/creativity, nature, and writing/journaling.

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Journaling Resources

30-Day Journal Challenge (Writing Prompts to Get Started)

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Let the Verse FlowJill Hodge

Journaling 101: An Inspirational Guide to Start (or Revive) a Practice

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